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Esprit de Corpse or self imposed prison!?

What if I told you that no matter where you’re at, inside a real prison or inside a imaginary one, God gives every man, woman, child freedom!

Being a 30 year old in this world is not easy. I’ve been incarcerated for drinking and partying with people, I really had no business even going out with or associating with. I’ve traveled and worked and seen the most beautiful wonders of the natural world. I’ve played saint and devils advocate in so many peoples lives, I’ve lost count. But no matter where I go, whom I’m adventuring with. Or where we travel “I still have myself to talk with, and deal with at the end of the day.” Wisdom a wise man once shared.

I had been living entirely by myself, for myself for 7 years. Even though I had a girlfriend, a son, a good home, and job. I was only living to sustain those things. Nothing was wrong, but nothing as right either.

In the quest to setup the “perfect life” I drove everyone mad around me, including myself. Striving for perfection isn’t achievable. Yes it’s nice when everything goes to plan. But what do you do, when the plans fell through? How did you react when things don’t go “my way”?

I felt that it was my way or the highway, and ultimately when my way didn’t work. I chose the highway. Chose a life going from one town to the next. Chasing one big wave, smooth wind, mountain peak or sunset. If there was an opportunity to make some silver, the legal way. I went chasing it.

No one could live up to the standards I had. So I stopped asking anyone to join me. I stopped dating. Eventually, I had all these friends and acquaintances to do fun things with. But at the end of the day it was still just me and my selfishness.

Selfishness is a tricky thing, because you only need or want self. But what if you get everything you want all the time? Does that lead to a satisfied existence? Starting a new business, buying more stuff will that make me happy? Maybe it does for a second, a minute, an hour. Still you can’t chase every dream. You can’t buy everything. One only has so much time. What good is life without someone to share it with?

Selfishness is like that prison I mentioned. It’s a trap, a one way door that only you can go through. It leads to another and another and eventually you find yourself in this room full of treasure but are too afraid to loose it. So you hide away with it, not allowing anyone in. The fear they may take it away.

Reminds me of the tales of the captain, who killed his crew after burying the treasure. Dead men tell no tales right? What do you think happened to the captain after he killed the crew and was the richest pirate in the lands?

He probably built himself a castle, hired guards to protect himself. Locked behind all those walls, moats and fortifications. He still had to go to sleep with his thoughts every night.

Do you think he dreamed about his mates?

All their faces and adventures they had together. Treasure hunting. Sailing the seas. Battling the storms. Together they could face any foes. They were strongest as a crew, a team. They were young, unified, and strong. No one could defeat them as long as they were a crew.

Esprit De Corpse, an old military term, known to insight unity and bonding. The troop working towards a common goal. They had each other’s back. Bonded in brotherhood.

When they were united, no one could defeat them, but once they found the gold. Killed the competition and were filthy rich. They started to quarrel. Who got the captains share? Was the crew shorted? What would each man do with his cut of the booty?

Would they buy some land, start a family, a new life? Or would they keep searching for more lute? Fame and glory are all just fables. Once they became the richest and most powerful pirate that sailed the seven seas; what then would he accomplish?

He’d still be trapped inside his own mind. His own selfishness. Maybe he’d share it with someone special. Maybe he’d take his treasure and spend it all in the towns. I can tell you from personal experience, good times can be bought, but long term friendship cannot.

Friendship is something that is earned. It can only be gained by being true and right. Having nobel intention. Fighting to defend one’s brother. Taking them along with you on the adventure. Yes you may quarrel, yes you will have to share the treasure. But you’ll still have each other.

Like the falcon, the dog, and the hunter. As a team, working together to achieve a successful hunt. A band of brothers fighting to win the battle. Sisters working to support the family. Mothers working to support and teach the younglings. Fathers teaching skills to the next generations. Emergency workers communicating, as a team, to save a life. Defend the weak, protect the community. That is Esprite de Corpse.

When your time comes, and you are old and frail. Can you tell yourself, “you did it all for selfish gain? For glory, fortune, or fame? Did achieve the highest level of Godly existence? Did you experience the feeling of Esprite de Corpse? Did you accomplish bonding, unity, selflessness, and community?” Or will you be cursed to rot in your own self imposed, selfish hell?

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